Great Sadness A Sandwichless World Would Bring

First off, we must acknowledge that the inclusion of a wrap in the sandwich category is controversial to say the least. Men have gone to war over more trivial disputes. But I respect the man behind the keyboard as, while I have not partaken in said wrap below, I have enjoyed the delicacies that Palani Drive has to offer, and I will give credit where credit is due. It is a hotbed of tasty things. Let it be known though that the sandwich was created as a compact meal between two slices of bread, not a folded tortilla, by John Montagu, the visionary fourth Earl of Sandwich, who grew hungry but desired not to interrupt a particularly engaging card game by dedicating both hands to eating. And so was born the beautifully simple and wonderfully portable foodstuff that is the modern-day sandwich. No longer must we suffer card games hungry nor must our card games be plagued by stoppages of play to eat with a knife and fork (What are those? I know only one utensil, the one that's connected to the arm bone.) Now instead of devoting all our physical attention to the task of eating (I say "physical", because all thought is dedicated to the critical activity...I only think about eating while I am eating), we are free to do loads of other activities whilst eating a sandwich...things like drinking a beer, operating heavy machinery, or making a second sandwich.

Now to the purpose of this post...to pay tribute to the sandwich overall, as it is absent from my life until Thursday at sundown (or until I cave in sooner). Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we are in the midst of Passover when chametz, or leavened food and those made with grain or grain derivatives, are not permitted. (Yes, this rules out beer too, although I cannot write a post about this for my keyboard would cease to perform covered in man tears.) I think this is a healthy exercise, as absence does make the heart grow fonder, and it certainly does make us appreciate the return of a loved one that much more. In the meantime, I will do my best to share my sandwich-like matzoh creations so that you mustn't be concerned for my mental well being during withdrawal. I will make it through. (Just keep telling yourself that, Tom.)

So this week, my sandwich-loving goyim brethren (yes, technically I am still a goy as well, but this is no place for that discussion), eat a sandwich in my honor and in the honor of anyone else forsaking the sandwich this Passover, and recognize how fortunate we all are that the good fourth Earl had his culinary epiphany. The world is a better place because of him.